-specious bs, turgid bs "You wish to understand and be understood without masks and pretension"- irish calvinism-o donahooey works w corporations- as ireland goes under? did he ever work w the pentagon? impossible to attain stuff turns people off to spirituality and religion- actually slanders the living Christ.

I tried to paste something here and a bunch of stuff disappeared- i have to get a better site- let me go try and find what it was-

This is where my chronological diary continues- after chapt. entitled "Offender Aid and Restoration": (where is photo of retirement party?)

a saying in Italian: "Dolce va niente"- to do nothing is sweet (phrasing approximate). And so it has been since Oct. 29, 2010- as described at the end of the Chapt. entitled Offender Aid and Restoration. My supervisor suggested I might regret it- no way- exercising, writing, practicing the piano, ...by the time I finish these- it's noon! + I'm taking up diving.I am certified as an "Open water diver" and get in 6 dives at Cozumel before bad weather closes the harbor (I don't think I'll do it again- for, despite the beauty, 50+ feet down- my mask leaked, my ears hurt, and I never did get my weight and bouyancy/neutrality correct- will stick w snorkeling!). Every day is a holiday in paradise! One must be careful to avoid becoming like, as Mick Jagger- the Rolling Stone, well puts in it a recent N Y Times article, "like an aging football star, sitting in the pub endlessly recounting that one glorious game when he made the decisive goal"!

artists to emulate as of 12/18/10? Georges Brassens, Don van Vliet

This will be the spot where I can continue my diary- the more important things- re growing old- much time in old age spent- looking for things lost the day before; sorting through things one should have thrown out anyway...I find you tube helpful in that- with the postings by Wm Hughes on demonstrations I should have gone to- like the Iraq Vets Against the War in DC on 12/16/10- I come to the realization that it is not me to be giving the sort of speeches Meda Benjamin of Code Pink can give- I cannot be that sort of leader- better to concentrate on the writing- poetry and prose and publishing and getting across that way- a quieter and gentler way. I remember when, after the blood pouring- I went down to Fort Bragg and addressed Viet. GIs-all I can remember about it is how over weight I was!

There is no one good book on old age- like Spock wrote for parenting- yet to be written- I quip wryly to my broker that old age is a time to spend your money before your descendants get to it. At about 67 I noticed body changing- more stiffness, less flexibility, can't run as fast, hemmorhoids a constant which it is a joy to scratch,  note huge plus of good sleep, take exedrin pm if I really want to sleep, take diovan for blood pressure but then have to go to bathroom about twice a night, indomethicin helps w gout which attacks all my joints, etc. etc. (we seniors call it Vitamin I).

4/19/'11- 70th birthday a watershed in many ways- pain so severe it is as if it came to live w me like a person! First gout to left knee- goes away when I stop drinking. Then for 3 weeks- sciatica and pain all day and especially horrible at night in right leg. By the 19th, I am able to sleep without twisting in the wind and have resumed my exercise regime. I have lost 10 lbs. for it was too painful to eat. Mom had back problems- must take preventive measures!
Feeling of review of life- death of shaman friend Bob Clark- filming myself reading my 2 poetry books- more balanced view of achievement and stupidity/arrogance of fame desire. Still great desire to get point of view across- but what is it? Validity of peace over violence!

I'm going to put my "apercu's" (is that the word) my list of insights on old age here: old age means: or, old age entails: retracing yr steps on some matter or other every day- trying to find that which you lost yesterday; healing endless ailments (and trying to prevent same) such as gout, sciatica, back problems (dave leaves plenty of room for additions here:) trying not to be too honest and gouchy; less asking of others (which is often, after all, only a statement anyway) and more listening to questions or statements by others.

 Retirement: finally having the time to truly run out of patience; spending your money- your savings before your stinkin relatives get to it; having so much fun that you always have some second fun planned to be next if you come to the end of the first fun you are having.

 11/6/11- as stiff as I am today- I realize that old age is just like having the flu- you feel sick all the time! One consolation- by the time we reach the end, we really don't care that much any more! but! have been enjoying it so much- exercising, practicing the piano, working on Poems from Poetry in Baltimore, traveling- Cozumel, Canada- people ask me, how is it- I respond- every day is like a party- like it used to be on weekends and holidays!  Drugs I take now: diovan for blood pressure, colchris for gout, aspirin for in general (O there’s one other).

I talk w my friend Marc Steiner- a radio talk show host- about being honest- how tired I get of always having to frame my thoughts into sentences and how we do not express the Joycean babble of our monkey minds- which he- as a talk show host – DEFINITELY cannot do! I know that it would come across as hard to understand- biased- mean- etc. I have responded to a poem on PIB about a laundromat (sp?)  as follows: This goes well w Dino's laundromat ode-did u see his? it's definitely a place for reality theatre- I go to the one down on St Paul st due to certain phobias I have abt certain items of clothing- and I can only go in if certain people are there- makes washing stuff very difficult (I have ocd) (am a proud owner of ocd). How honest can I be in these memoirs before I die